Having never written a fantasy before or done much world-building, I decided the search Google for “how to write a fantasy novel”. I know it sounds like a novice thing to do, but I’m in uncharted territory here, and I thought there might be a few little gems of information I could use.
In a way, there was.
All I was able to find were sarcastic webpages that at first didn’t seem that helpful. But as I thought about them I realised that the websites actually listed all the things to avoid when writing fantasy novels. So, here’s my guide to writing a bad fantasy novel (or, what to avoid):
1. Your protagonist should be a farmhand.
2. And an orphan.
3. The Evil Bad Guy should secretly be the protagonist’s father.
4. Make sure there’s a Wise of Wizard who mentors the protagonist.
5. The Wise Old Wizard should know all about the quest, but doesn’t tell the protagonist.
6. Several of your characters should have apostrophes or dashes in their names.
7. The more the better.
8. The Evil Bad Guy should have an enormous army of (ugly) henchmen (the uglier the better) at his disposal. These henchmen don’t require payment, or food.
9. There should be several locations with the following words in the place names:
10. The characters should go through an abandoned Dwarfish mine.
Admittedly, a few of the above feature in my own fantasy novel. My Metaphorical Red Pen is going to be hard at work before too long.
For the comments, what are some things to avoid when writing a fantasy novel? Let me know!