Monday, 7 November 2011

Twitter Killing Spiders

Today’s post brought to you by Constance… well, kind of. After having nothing to blog about, I put out a plea to Twitter, and Constance responded, telling me to blog about “Twitter. Or… spiders. Blog about Twitter killing spiders!”

Challenge accepted*.

In my quest to write this post, I started thinking about how Twitter could kill spiders, and I had some fun with it. It was almost an exercise in creativity, which got me thinking about a creativity exercise I did in class (I know, I do everything in class).

We were each given a paperclip and told to come up with as many different uses for it. Some of the popular ones ones that I can remember were: joining several to make a necklace, prosthetic limb for an insect, and unlocking a door.

So, the best results from the Twitter Killing Spiders creativity exercise:

1. Open Twitter on your laptop, place spider on keyboard, slam laptop closed. Twitter has (in a way) killed the spider (or at least, Twitter was the last thing the spider saw).

2. Twitter could expand its business to make spider-killing bots which chase around and kill spiders. With lasers. Definitely lasers.

3. People could catch spiders and send them off to Twitter HQ. The spiders could be put on a conveyor belt, and a giant boot could stomp them all.

4. We let Garfield be the new CEO of Twitter.

For the comments, do you have anything to add to my list? How else could Twitter kill those damn arachnids?

* That’s a How I Met Your Mother reference. Does anyone else love that show?


  1. First, this made me immeasurably happy. :D

    ...I'm thinking #1 is a bad idea, though. Think of all those spider guts, all over your keyboard and screen. O_O

    #3 is totally my favorite. xD

    Someone could animate all the little Twitter birds and have them go out and eat all the spiders. Great success!

    Thanks Matt. Like I said, this is AWESOME. ^_^

  2. Constance: Thank *you* for the inspiration! :D

    I'm looking at my keyboard wondering how I would clean spider guts out from between the keys... so yes, #1 is bad. (But if it kills a particularly large spider, it my be worth it... we all have to make sacrifices!)

    Animating the Twitter birds is another great idea! Plus, they'd be cool to have flying around your room!

  3. LOL, this is awesome--#3 was my favorite, also. And I like your idea, Constance. The Twitter birds. ^_^ Hmm...I'VE GOT IT. Start a Twitter trend "SPIDERS WANT TO GET DIED*" (included bad grammar so the smarties will contribute to its trending-ness by correcting it) and then the vast legions of Twitter users will band together and wipe out arachnids everywhere! EVERYWHERE! I like it. ^_^

    *You get a gold star if you can tell me what I'm obliquely referencing. XD

  4. @Matt After giving it some thought, I decided #1 could work if you put down a paper––at least on your keyboard. But yes, if it was a large spider, I'd do it, even if I didn't have a paper.
    YES. *imagines little Twitter birdies flying around my room* Teehehe.

    @Amanda Okay! Sounds great. :D Though I've no clue what you're referencing... O_o

  5. Amanda: Nope, sorry, I've got no idea what you're referencing! But the Twitter trend sounds like a good idea - I'd like to see it trending!

    Constance: Ooh, paper! I didn't even think about that! Good one!

  6. Oooo, no gold stars, then. I shall distribute silver stars for trying! =P I was referencing "All babies want to get borned", from the movie Juno. I only just saw it about six months previously(wasn't interested when it came out like five years ago), so it was in my head. Maybe I should award gold stars anyway--it was rather oblique, and Juno isn't recent for most people. *puts on game show announcer voice* Thanks for playing! XD *hands out gold stars*